Once again it’s time for all those New Year’s Resolutions. Out of curiosity, I’m wondering how many of you have ever made improving your connection with your partner your New Year’s Goal? I had to stop and think, and truth be told, I never have; not even when we really needed it. This got me thinking that maybe other people don’t do this as well. Here at The Bonded Box we thought maybe we could throw out a few ideas to get you all connecting a little more in 2024.
Goals to consider for The New Year:
Communicate More. Start with adding a couple's goal to your New Year’s Resolution List. Talk about your relationship. Be honest and encourage each other more. Find comfort in each other's company. Check in with each other on how your day is going. Make open communication common practice. Learn new things about each other. Share more.
Say ‘I Love You’ more. Say it daily. Make it a common practice to communicate verbally your love for your partner. Let them hear it. Be mindful of your love and connection as you do.
Create a date night plan. Weekly, every other week, monthly. Improve and build on your current plan and stick to it. Set it in the calendar. Don’t cancel these plans. Make them a priority. If you have children, date night may mean finding a sitter or waiting until the kids go to sleep to make plans together. Figure out what will work for you and your family and commit to it. Consider this an investment in your long term connection.
Practice Gratitude. We have a previous blog on how gratitude improves intimacy. Check it out. Appreciating your partner can make a world of difference in how you connect. Tell your partner how much you appreciate them and show them with your actions.
Spend Quality Time Together. This is different from those planned date nights. This is quality time each day. Even if it is 20 minutes after the kids go to bed when you sit and talk and are present with each other. Talk to each other. Cuddle on the couch. Do new things together that you have been wanting to do. Cook together. Exercise together. Take a walk and talk together. The list is endless. Do what interests you. Do what interests your partner. Have fun together.
Put Your Phone Away. Set a time each day when phones are going away. So many of us spend so much of our time scrolling that we are missing opportunities to connect. This could benefit us in more ways than one but intimacy definitely improves when electronic use goes down.
Be more affectionate. Kiss when you walk in the door, hug before you go to sleep. Touch their hair, massage their back, hold hands, and cuddle. Little love taps and small gestures of affection can really help elevate connection for couples. This is especially true if physical touch is someone’s love language. Make affection a daily part of your connection.
Commit to Having Sex. Having sex is an integral part of most healthy relationships. It improves your intimate connection, boosts mood, reduces stress and improves sleep. It can be challenging when you are overwhelmed with life to get in the mood so sometimes scheduling sex is in order. Pick a day of the week and stick to it. If you are struggling with your intimate connection consider picking up a copy of Where Intimacy Begins: The Work Book.
These are just a few ideas to get you started. Ultimately, what works for you and your partner is going to be the best goal to set for yourself. In the end, we hope that 2024 is your year for feeling more connected.
Until Next Time,
©️ The Bonded Box 2023