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  • Writer's pictureRae

Romantic Exploration

Updated: Apr 4

What is romantic/sexual exploration? A quick definition is that it is the act of exploring your sexual ideas and feelings on a personal, emotional and physical level.

Is it common to still be curious about my sexual desires later in life? YES! What if I am in a long term relationship and feeling like I am not acknowledging my desires? COMMUNICATE AND EXPLORE WITH YOUR PARTNER. How do I do that? WE ARE HERE TO HELP.

It's totally normal to dive into the whirlpool of your sexual desires and feelings at any point in your life but usually, the adventure kicks off during those teenage and early twenties years, as you unravel your likes and crushes. You figure out what you like and who you like, you discover what turns you on and completely turns you off. You explore and have fun and then you want to settle down. You think you’ve got it figured out. You get into a long term relationship with the one you love, you create a life together, get married and start a family and before you know it, you are doing the day to day and forgetting about what turned you on about your partner in the first place. You’re too busy for date night, too tired for sex, and you take your relationship for granted because you assume you’ll both always be there for each other, and that one day when there’s time to reinvest, you’ll get back to where you once were.... maybe. Or, you’ll be fine because you’re older now and intimacy between the two of you does not need to come first anymore. It was a phase. All couples go through it. It’s even got a name, “the honeymoon phase”.

Ever wondered where your old dreams and fiery passions disappeared to? Well, fear not - they didn't pull a vanishing act. They're just hiding, waiting for you to bring them back to life. With some effort and determination, you might just end up in a brighter spot than where you began all those years ago. Love is definitely a rollercoaster. Sometimes it's a thrilling joyride, other times it's a chaotic whirlwind. There are those serene and dreamy moments, as well as the tough and gloomy patches. But if you both stick around, each phase is a chance to bloom and gain a tremendous amount of wisdom.

Start with honest communication. Be real with your partner and spill the beans on your feelings. Pick the right moment - no distractions, just good vibes. Maybe drop a hint earlier in the day that you're gearing up for a heart-to-heart in the evening. Tell your partner that you feel like things have slowed down in the pleasure department and that you’d like to make a change. Discuss what both of you could do to help out in this area. Maybe even write a list. If it’s emotional intimacy that’s in need of rekindling, talk about it. Discuss ways in which you can both be more emotionally available. If you know each other's love languages, show up for each other in that way. If you don’t know them. Find out. They can be a game changer. If it’s physical intimacy that’s lacking, set some time aside each week for just that. Rediscover each other. Share your desires and your passions. Even if you can’t fulfill them all, sharing them with your partner can fill the void. Get creative, maybe some of those fantasies can be met through role play.

Opening up to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires can strengthen the bond between you. Being honest and vulnerable with your partner, and having them support you in an accepting and non-judgmental manner, can truly enhance your relationship. Maybe you’ve never opened up about your desires before. Maybe your fantasies are just that. Fantasies. And sharing them with your partner will open up a whole new level of attraction, trust and intimacy. Try it. You never know what you might discover and where those discoveries may take you in the bedroom.

There are times when certain relationships have one or both partners who struggle with trust and/or communication issues. When that is the case, there is absolutely nothing wrong with bringing a professional into the mix. Maybe a few sessions with a marriage and family therapist will help in that department. Seeking out a sex therapist may work for some as well. A sex therapist can help you address any emotional or mental roadblocks that are causing, or are related to sexual issues.

If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner, but do not feel the need to seek out professional help, The Bonded Box has written a book titled, Where Intimacy Begins: The Workbook that we highly recommend you read with your partner. It’s short and sweet and touches on all of the stages of a healthy relationship, including topics such as communication, the importance of quality time, languages of love, and more. It also highlights helpful tips on how to strengthen your emotional and physical intimacy. The Bonded Box offers incredible Experiences (intimacy kits) that encourage and promote both physical and emotional intimacy from the privacy of your home. Visit our website to find out more.

I hope this helps. You and your partner still have new chapters in love that are waiting to be written. Don’t just sit around and think they’re going to write themselves. Show up and make it the love story of your dreams!

Please leave your feedback and comments below. We’d love to hear what’s holding you back from intimacy with your partner. Do you feel comfortable sharing your sexual thoughts and desires?

Until next time,

Rae~ The Bonded Box

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