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Tend To Your Flower

My job is stressful. 8 plus hours in a high stress environment takes a lot out of me. By the time I come home from work, I’m spent. I have to muster the little bit of energy I have left and cook, clean, and to tend to the family. This includes all sorts of fun activities like cleaning, grocery shopping, rides, sports, planning of vacays and events like birthdays, sleepovers, and play dates. Then we have to factor in our partners. They also want and require their own special type of attention. How do I keep up? How am I supposed to meet all the duties of every role that I carry? Does anyone even relate?

You are definitely not alone. We cope and continue. Some of us vent to our closest confidants and get encouragement and advice. Others just suck it up and continue on the mission, getting through our days the best we can. Is that option healthy? The answer is No. You have to recognize the fact that even though you carry these responsibility filled roles and you roll through these action-packed days, you need to also prioritize yourself and your relationship.

How do you do this? Where do you start?... You start now! You start by making a promise to yourself to prioritize connection and intimacy in your relationship. You have to think of your relationship like a flower. In order to keep it healthy, it must be watered. This can come in many forms. It doesn't have to cost money. It doesn't have to be an inconvenience. There are things you can do from the comfort of your home to water your flowers. 

 Physical touch, gentle kisses, massages, and spooning are highly recommended. If there is juice left in your battery, have sex. I know you're tired at this point, but sex is an integral part of most healthy relationships. It can help with bonding and connection. Having sex also serves as a wonderful energy release. It promotes health of mind, body, and soul. Even if you can’t have sex daily, prioritize it in your schedule. Discuss with your partner what the best approach is to develop a healthy plan for scheduling intimate time for each other.

Scheduling date nights is also something to consider. This can be done anytime and anywhere. A plan to cop a squat in the living room, once the kids go to sleep, pop some popcorn and put on a movie is always fun. Finding childcare and going out for a night on the town is also a possibility for some. Cooking dinner at home followed by a massage is always a win. The options are endless. It’s up to you and your partner to make it happen. It takes a little bit of effort but believe me, it is worth it!

Communication is also essential. Touching base with your partner daily is so important. It is easy to go through a typical busy day with minimum interaction. There have been days that I have been so tired, I end up crashing out without a solid check in with my partner. Don’t even get me started on the distractions of technology! I know there are many that have been frustrated by their partner's incessant relationship with their phones/ social media/ and all the other media platforms placed there to distract us. Make a commitment to your partner to start communicating with purpose.

These are just a few things that have assisted me in initiating intimacy and in turn strengthened my relationship. It has definitely taken some solid time and effort but by prioritizing connection it has strengthened the bond between me and my spouse. Where there is a will, there is a way. It can't happen by itself. It's up to you to water your flower and strengthen your bond. Keep in mind that if you neglect the necessity for physical and emotional intimacy, your flower will wilt and could potentially die. That isn't an option for many but yet we see it happening around us every day. Pull out the hose and get to watering. Your relationship is worth it. 

Raw Thoughts With Grace

If you are finding it difficult to connect, we encourage you to read “Where Intimacy Begins: The Workbook.” The workbook will provide you a guided approach to intimacy and connection. You can also explore our Intimacy Experiences These are curated with care to assist you to meet your intimacy and connection goals. Have fun, be free, and vibe high my friends.

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